Heating Bills This Winter Are The Highest

It's Cold Out. It's Even Cold In Florida. So Cold Today That Katherine Harris Put On A Third Layer Of Makeup.

Over In Iraq After You Vote They Paint Your Finger Purple So You Can't Vote Again. It's A Flawless System. It Works Perfectly Unless, Of Course, Someone Has Paint Remover.

More Warnings Issued By All Branches Of The Government Today That Another Terrorist Attack Is Imminent. We're Not Sure When, We're Not Sure Where, Just That It Is Coming. Who Is Attacking Us Now, The Cable Company?

A New Poll Shows That Americans Now Believe That Bill Clinton Is More Honest Than President Bush. At Least When Clinton Screwed The Nation, He Did It One Person At A Time.

Former Vice President Al Gore Starring In A New Documentary About Global Warming. I Believe It's Called [leno Snores]. ... The Film Actually Features Al Gore And Explores His Journey On How He First Got Interested In Temperature Change. It Started Back When He Was Vice President. He Noticed How The Temperature Would Change, Like Whenever Bill Would Walk Into The Room, It Would Get Warm And Whenever Hillary Walked Into The Room, It Got Cold.