Kentucky Fried Chicken.. Kfc... Keep Fooling Customers.

Remember When We Used To Worry About Some Weirdo Having A Razor Blade Inside An Apple On Halloween? Not Anymore. Like A Kid Today Would Eat An Apple.

Ex-convicts Prepared The Eggs For The White House’s Easter Egg Roll. It’s Nice To See The White House Reaching Out To Former Members Of Congress.

Comedy Is The Only Profession Where Love From A Stranger Is Better Than Love From A Family Member. You Need To Perform For Strangers To See If You're Really Funny. If They Laugh And Cheer, It's The Greatest Thing In The World.

The Key To A Long And Healthy Marriage Is That, Honestly, There's Nothing Worth Fighting About.

The Canadian Prime Minister Said Canada Would Lend The U.s. Its Full Military Support. You Know What That Means: Both Tanks.