His Insomnia Was So Bad, He Couldn't

His Insomnia Was So Bad, He Couldn't Sleep During Office Hours.

A Plumber Is An Adventurer Who Traces Leaky Pipes To Their Source.

A Good Neighbor Is A Fellow Who Smiles At You Over The Back Fence, But Doesn't Climb Over It.

A Newspaper Is A Circulating Library With High Blood Pressure.

If You Demand Money From Someone In Exchange For Your Silence, It's Called 'blackmail'. If Your Lawyer Demands Money From Someone In Exchange For Your Silence, It's Called A Settlement. If You Do Big Things They Print Your Face, And If You Do Little Things They Print Only Your Thumbs.