Hillary Clinton Said She Hopes America Is

President Obama Told The Irish People That America Will Always Stand By Them, To Which Israel Laughed.

Apparently, Osama Bin Laden Was Killed With Money And Phone Numbers Sewn Into His Clothing. So We Got Him Right Before He Left For Summer Camp.

According To A New Book Coming Out By A Pulitzer Prize-winning Author, Apparently When He Was In High School, President Obama Smoked Large Amounts Of Marijuana. You Know What That Means? He Could Be Our First Green President.

John Kerry's Wife Teresa Heinz Is On The Cover Of Newsweek Magazine This Week And They Said That If He Is Elected President, She Will Be The Oldest First Lady In American History. But That Doesn't Bother John Kerry, He Said, 'to Me, She Looks Like A Million Bucks'

John Kerry Said Today That He Wants To Get Rid Of Tax Cuts For The Rich And His Wife Said, 'hey, Shut Up! What's The Matter With You?! Are You Nuts?!'