Ratings For The Xfl Are So Low

President Bush Went Out Touting His Economic Record In Ohio Last Week. Now This Is A State That Lost 225,000 Jobs Since Bush Took Office. You Know, If Bush Wants To Tout His Record, He Should Do It Somewhere Where The Bush Economy Has Actually Created Jobs, Like India, Or Thailand, Or China.

An Israeli Man's Life Was Saved When He Was Given A Palestinian Man's Heart In A Heart Transplant Operation. The Guy Is Doing Fine, But The Bad News Is, He Can't Stop Throwing Rocks At Himself.

Did You Hear About This 20-year-old Kid Named John Walker From Northern California Who Was Apparently Fighting For The Taliban?... It Didn't Take Long For The Tv Networks To Jump On This Walker Thing. Cbs Has A New Show: 'walker: Taliban Ranger.'

John Kerry Reportedly Flew In His Private Hairdresser Before His "meet The Press" Interview For A Total Cost Of $1,000. That's $1,000 For A Haircut, Which Sounds Like A Lot, But Have You Seen The Size Of Kerry's Head.

Clinton Vetoed The Repeal Of The Marriage Tax. I Guess Bill Figures If He's Married, Then We All Have To Suffer.