Here's To Our Wives And Girlfriends...may They

If They'd Lower The Taxes And Get Rid Of The Smog And Clean Up The Traffic Mess, I Really Believe I'd Settle Here Until The Next Earthquake.

Time Wounds All Heels.

In Hollywood, Brides Keep The Bouquets And Throw Away The Groom.

I Don't Want To Join The Kind Of A Club That Accepts People Like Me As Members.

Money Cannot Buy You Happiness, And Happiness Cannot Buy You Money. That Might Be A Wise Crack, But I Doubt It.