Her Mother Was A Cultivated Woman -

I Thought I'd Begin By Reading A Poem By Shakespeare, But Then I Thought, Why Should I? He Never Reads Any Of Mine.

You Can Fool Some Of The People All Of The Time, And All The People Some Of The Time, Which Is Just Long Enough To Be President Of The United States.

Chopsticks Are One Of The Reasons The Chinese Never Invented Custard.

We Don't Have Anything Planned, So Nothing Can Go Wrong.

In India A Farmhand Was Caught In The Act With His Cow. He Said He Had Bad Eyesight And Thought It Was His Wife.