For The First Time In History, Sex

Mitt Romney Has A New Fundraising Gimmick. If You Donate $3 Or More To His Campaign, Your Name Will Be Entered Into A Drawing To Win A Dinner With Mitt Romney And Donald Trump. If You Donate More Than $10, You Get To Sit At A Different Table.

Have You Noticed How The Republicans And Democrats Try To Copy Each Other At Their Conventions. Like At The Democratic Convention John Kerry's Daughter Told A Story About How He Once Gave Cpr To Her Hamster. At The Republican Convention The Bush Girls Are Going To Tell A Story About How When Their Hamster Was Bad, Their Dad Built Them A Little Electric Chair.

Gray Davis Got Some Good News This Week: The Clintons Are Out Here In California Campaigning For Him. Actually, Hillary Is Campaigning For Davis, Bill Is Out Here For Larry Flynt.

A Survey Released Today Found That Men Spend Twice As Much On Their Mistresses For Christmas As They Do On Their Wives. On The Other Hand, Men Spend Half Their Income On The Wives When The Wife Finds Out About The Mistress. So It All Balances Out.

Supporters Of Osama Bin Laden Want To Rename The Arabian Sea After Bin Laden's Death. They Want To Call It "martyr's Sea." Please, Hiding In Your Bedroom For Six Years With The Blinds Closed? How About "chicken Of The Sea?