You Know What You Call The Two

I Was Going To Start Off Tonight With An Obama Joke But I Don't Want To Get Audited By The Irs.

When You Fix Something With Your Hands It Gives You A Sense Of Accomplishment And A Sense Of Self Worth.

Today Is Valentine's Day - Or, As Men Like To Call It, Extortion Day!

According To The New York Times, More Than Half Of President Obama's Twitter Followers Are Fake. They Don't Even Exist. Which Is Actually A Good Thing Because If They Did Exist There Wouldn't Be Any Jobs For Them.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Announced That He Is Going To Run For Governor On Our Program Last Night. My Staff Didn't Know, Arnold's Staff Didn't Know, I Was Shocked As Everyone Else. If He Doesn't Get Elected Governor, Maybe He Should Work For The Cia. I Mean, He Can Keep A Secret Better Than They Can.