Figure Out What To Do, Then Take

I'm A Comedian, Not A Politician.

When I Say Things That Sound Insane, Like Only The Smartest Million People Should Have The Right To Vote, Well, I Mean That.

I Don't Think Healthcare's A Right. The Only Right You Have Is The Ability To Go Out On An Even Playing Field And Work, And Then Purchase Health Insurance, Or Whatever It Is.

All Tv Is, Is Really: 'don't You Want To Be This, Aren't You Glad You're Not That.' There's Nothing Really In The Middle.

I Give Women Two Types Of Orgasms. Fake And None.