Everything My Mother Made Had To Cook

My Mother's Sister Was Killed In A Trolley Car Accident, So I Was Raised As One Of Eight With My Sister And Six Male Cousins.

I'm Only... I'm Only Unhappy When The Reviews Are Bad, But Give Me A Good Review And I'm A... I'm Just Screaming All Over The Place With Joy.

The Other Day My House Caught Fire. My Lawyer Said, "shouldn't Be A Problem. What Kind Of Coverage Do You Have?" I Said, "fire And Theft." The Lawyer Frowned. "uh Oh. Wrong Kind. Should Be Fire Or Theft."

I Won't Eat In A Place That Has Suits Of Armor.

My Son Says I Never Tell Stories About Anyone Who's Living.