Everyone Went Crazy Over Wayne Rooney, But

Don't Die Like I Did.

I Even Found It Difficult To Watch Myself Playing On Tv Because I Couldn't Identify With The Person On The Screen. I Couldn't Get To Grips With It. It Was As If It Was All Happening To Someone Else.

Me And A Mate Picked Up Two Darling Birds And They Took Us Back To Their Flat. I Went Into The Bedroom With My Bird And She Started Getting Undressed. I Was That Drunk I Was Standing There Wondering How To Get Undressed Without Letting Go Of The Award. I Went To Sit On The Bed, Missed It By Four Feet And Ended Up Lying On The Floor. I Remember The Bird Looking Down At Me, And Saying, ‘some Player Of The Year.’ Then I Fell Asleep. I Woke Up Still Clutching My Award And Staggered Out Of The Flat. I Hadn’t A Bloody Clue Where I Was.

They Told Me I Wouldn't Make 25. Then It Was 35, Then 45. These Were My Doctors Speaking - They're All Dead Now.

You Can't Trust Very Many People.