Every Time A Woman Leaves Off Something

Just Read The Farm Relief Bill. It's Just A Political Version Of Einstein's Last Theory. If A Farmer Could Understand It, He Certainly Would Know More Than To Farm. He Would Be A Professor At Harvard.

I Guess There Is Nothing That Will Get Your Mind Off Everything Like Golf. I Have Never Been Depressed Enough To Take Up The Game, But They Say You Get So Sore At Yourself You Forget To Hate Your Enemies.

It's Easy Being A Humorist When You've Got The Whole Government Working For You.

There Are Two Things I Don't Care How Smart You Are, You Will Never Understand. One Is An Alienist's Testimony, And The Other Is A Railroad Timetable.

Last Year We Said, 'things Can't Go On Like This', And They Didn't, They Got Worse.