Never Slap A Man Who's Chewing Tobacco.

The Republicans Have Their Splits Right After Election And Democrats Have Theirs Just Before An Election.

The Only Way To Solve The Traffic Problems Of The Country Is To Pass A Law That Only Paid-for Cars Are Allowed To Use The Highways. That Would Make Traffic So Scarce, We Could Use Our Boulevards For Children's Playgrounds.

The United States Investigates Everything - Usually After It's Dead.

A Holding Company Is The People You Give Your Money To While You're Being Searched.

My Own Mother Died When I Was 10 Years Old. My Folks Have Told Me That What Little Humor I Have Comes From Her. I Can't Remember Her Humor, But I Can Remember Her Love And Understanding Of Me.