Every Poker Player Is Smarter Than Me.

I Have A Very Specific Definition Of Censorship. Censorship Must Be Done By The Government Or It's Not Censorship.

I Never Wanted To Be A Magician. I Never Wanted To Be A Comedian. I Never Wanted To Be Onstage.

Bob Saget Is The Dirtiest Comic Who's Ever Lived. Nobody Touches Him.

One Thing You Learn Doing Magic Tricks For A Living Is How Close Every Performance Of Every Magic Trick Is To Disaster. There Are No Robust Magic Tricks. They're All Hanging From A Thread - Sometimes Literally.

The End Never Justifies The Means Because There Is No End; There Are Only Means.