English People Are Famous For Never Speaking

There Was A Time When No Difficult Subjects Were Ever Aired In The 'lady', And Sadly, Life Isn't Like That.

I Think Everyone Can Recognize The One-upmanship And The Competition That Go On Wherever You Are, Especially Among Groups Where The Women Don't Have To Hold Down Office Jobs And Instead Get In A Total Snit About Who Won The Longest Carrot Contest Or Took First Prize For Summer Chutney In The August Fete.

I Am A Total Coffee Snob And Bore. If Anyone Makes The Mistake Of Offering Me 'a Coffee' They Tend To Regret It - I'm Worse Than Mariah Carey, And The Hot Milk Rider Is Completely Non-negotiable.

Being Blonde Means People Decide On Sight That You Are Much Prettier And Nicer Than You Really Are, Just As Americans Automatically Add 10 Points To Someone's Iq When They Hear An English Accent. Fact.

Being Blonde, For Me, Means Never Having To Say: 'i'll Have The Honey-striped Half-head Of Highlights For £200,' To A Bored Colourist In A Mayfair Salon, Which Is Much More Satisfying, Not To Mention Cheap.