Elizabeth Taylor's So Fat She Puts Mayonnaise

Travel Is The Excitement Of Life! Everything Is An Adventure, And If You Look At It Like That, Even At The Worst Moment You Can Say: 'we Will Laugh Tomorrow About This.' And You Do.

The Worst Thing That Ever Happened To Me On Stage Is Someone Ran Forward To Tell Me They Loved Me And Projectile Vomited All Over The Stage. It Was Horrible.

Bo Derek Turned Down The Role Of Helen Keller Because She Couldn't Remember The Lines.

"i've Learned What's Funny Verbally Ain't So Funny On E-mail: They Don't Hear Your Intonations. Melissa Broke Up With Somebody Over That. She Tried To Tell Him: "that Was A Joke!" But He Just Didn't Get It. Mick Jagger Said, "f- 'em If They Don't Get The Joke." And I Love Him. That Comes With Age: Knowing It's Their Problem, Not Mine."

I Think Anyone Who's Perfectly Happy Isn't Particularly Funny. And When You're Very, Very Happy, You're Not Very Funny. You're Just Happy. I'd Rather Be Damaged And Funny.