Ed Sullivan Brought Me To Tv First

I Don't Mind Being 65, But Nobody Is Gonna Tell Me To Come In At 5:30 To Have The Early Bird Special.

I Just Never Saw My Mother In Any Other Room But The Kitchen. There Were Always Pots Going.

The Other Day My House Caught Fire. My Lawyer Said, "shouldn't Be A Problem. What Kind Of Coverage Do You Have?" I Said, "fire And Theft." The Lawyer Frowned. "uh Oh. Wrong Kind. Should Be Fire Or Theft."

Modesty Is Not One Of My Virtues.

And Humor Has Always Been A Weapon. You Want To Get Even On Somebody? You Want To Attack Somebody? Make Fun Of Them.