Doctor Told Me I've Got Two Weeks

An Irishman's Wife Gave Birth To Twins. Her Husband Wanted To Know Who The Other Man Was.

I Come From A Family Of Musicians. Even The Sewing Machine Is A Singer.

A Man Walks Into A Pet Shop And Says: "give Me A Wasp." The Shopkeeper Replies: "we Don't Sell Wasps." He Says: "there's One In The Window."

A Man Was Found Dead Covered In Sprinkles, Strawberry Sauce And A Flake. Reports Said He May Have Topped Himself.

Someone Threw A Petrol Bomb At Alex Higgins Once And He Drank It!