Declassified Papers Report That John Kennedy Was

President Bush Announced A Billion Dollar Mission To The Moon And Mars. He Came Up With A Snappy New Slogan - To Drill Where No Man Has Drilled Before.

Our Top Story, In 'threat Matrix Reloaded' News ... Attorney General John Ashcroft And Fbi Director Robert Muller Held A Press Conference Today To Announce That Al Qaeda Is Planning Attacks Somewhere Inside The United States At Sometime In The Future. So Go About Your Normal Lives, But With A Vague Sense Of Foreboding.

Larry Flynt, Running For Governor Of California. His Goal - Change Our State Bird To The Spread Eagle.

On Sunday, The President Flies To The Azores Islands To Attend A Summit With British Prime Minister Tony Blair And Spanish Prime Minister Jose Aznar, And Here's My Prediction: Bush Gets Voted Off.

I Don't Want To Scare Anybody Here But We Just Received Word From Police That Howard Dean Is Loose And May Be Armed With A Microphone.