Communism Is Just One Big Telephone Company.

All My Humor Is Based Upon Destruction And Despair. If The Whole World Were Tranquil, Without Disease And Violence, I’d Be Standing On The Breadline Right In Back Of J. Edgar Hoover.

The Only Truly Anonymous Donor Is The Guy Who Knocks Up Your Daughter.

Life Is A Four-letter Word.

I'm Not A Comedian. I'm Lenny Bruce.

You Put A Guy On A Desert Island, He'll Do It To Mud, A Chicken, A Barrel, Anything, A Knothole.