Comedy Is The Ultimate Anarchist.

If You Don't Decide Where You're Going, Life Will Decide For You.

Men Are Pigs. Too Bad We Own Everything.

If You Want To Condemn Yourself For The Mistakes You've Made, Let's Be Fair, That Means You've Got To Congratulate Yourself For All The Good Things You've Done. It's Okay To Say, "god, I Wish I'd Done This; Yeah, But I Did Do That." Then It Kind Of Balances Out.

My Comedy Is Not Mine. It's A Gift. I'm Not That Smart.

My Stepfather Stepped In Where No Man Would've Stepped In - Six Kids, Five Of Them Boys - And That's Heroic.