Comedy Is In My Blood. Too Bad

She Was So Fat That Her Bathtub Has Stretch Marks.

I Tell Ya, My Wife's A Lousy Cook. After Dinner, I Don't Brush My Teeth. I Count Them.

My Family Was A Bunch Of Drunks. When I Was Six I Came Up Missing, They Put My Picture On A Bottle Of Scotch.

Last Week I Told My Psychiatrist, 'i Keep Thinking About Suicide', And He Told Me From Now I Have To Pay In Advance.

Time And Tide And Hookers Wait For No Man.