Clowns Work As Well As Aspirin, But

If Income Tax Is The Price You Have To Pay To Keep The Government On Its Feet, Alimony Is The Price We Have To Pay For Sweeping A Woman Off Hers.

I Have Nothing But Respect For You -- And Not Much Of That.

I Hope They Bury Me Near A Strait Man

I Find Television Very Educating. Every Time Somebody Turns On The Set, I Go Into The Other Room And Read A Book.

Oh, Are You From Wales? Do You Know A Fella Named Jonah-he Used To Live In Whales For A While