Clarinets, Like Lawyers, Have Cases, Mouthpieces, And

My Father Invented A Cure For Which There Was No Disease And Unfortunately My Mother Caught It And Died Of It.

The Difference Between A Violin And A Viola Is That A Viola Burns Longer.

In My Dreams Of Heaven, I Always See The Great Masters Gathered In A Huge Hall In Which They All Reside. Only Mozart Has His Own Suite.

I Learned To Play The Piano On My Mother's Knee - That Was Before We Got A Piano.

Occasionally, A Finger Comes Up To Wipe A Tear [of Laughter] From The Eye... And That's My Reward... The Rest Goes To The Government.