Childhood Obesity Affects All Pedophiles.

I Want People To Just Be Paying Attention Even If They're Not Necessarily Laughing At Something, Or If It Takes Them A While To Get Something, I Don't Mind That. If Half The Crowd Gets The Joke And The Other Half Is Sitting There Scratching Their Heads, That's Just As Good For Me If I Like The Joke, Because I Feel Like It Just Brings People In More.

I Prefer To Sleep With Deaf Girls. Those Crazy Chicks Never Have A Safe Word.

I'm Getting Pretty Worried. My Girlfriend Hasn't Gotten Her Period. And She's Already 14.

I Like To Read, But Otherwise I'm Just Your Average, Self-obsessed Comedian. It's Pretty Much All I Think About.

On The Show, You Have To Be More Charismatic, A Little Smoother, But I Think I Can Still Be That Prince Of Darkness. You Just Have To Learn The Tricks Of The Tv Trade As Well.