But The Biggest Fake Of The Year,

Think Of Iraq As "east Korea," Because It Was A Shoot The Cuffs War For The Edification Of Kim Jong Il To Let Him Know We've Now Circled The Suvs. Iraq Was About Breaking Adhesions, Getting Lean, Staying Frosty - In Short, Getting Ready For The Big Doug Macarthur Memorial Cage Match To Come.

I Would Call The French Scumbags, But That, Of Course, Would Be A Disservice To Bags Filled With Scum. I Say We Invade Iraq, Then Invade Chirac.

When I Went To College, I Lived On Campus, And The Guys I Hung Out With Made The Characters In Revenge Of The Nerds Look Like The Rat Pack In 1962. I, Myself Made That Kid Booger Look Like Remington Steele.

Ah, Feminism In The Nineties, What A What Is Yours What Is Mine Field.

Parenting Is The Most Important Job On The Planet Next To Keeping Gary Busey Off The Nation's Highways.