Guilt Is The Reason They Put The

Twitter! Never Have Lives Been Less Lived And More Chronicled!

Here In Hollywood You Can Actually Get A Marriage License Printed On An Etch-a-sketch.

There's No Doubt About It, Show Business Lures The People Who Didn't Get Enough Love, Attention, Or Approval Early In Life And Have Grown Up To Become Bottomless, Gaping Vessels Of Terrifying, Abject Need. Please Laugh.

The World Is So Ass-backwards It Almost Makes You Wish You Were Dyslexic.

I'm Glad I Don't Have A Lot Of Money In The Market. And Quite Frankly, You'd Be Better Off Giving Your Money To A Colorblind Roulette Addict Than Put It In The Stock Market.