Black Comics, They Only Watch Black Comedians.

I Ain't Shootin' Nobody. So Call Me A Faggot! When The War's Over, I'll Be The Faggot With Two Legs, Thank You!

When I Hear People Talk About Juggling Or The Sacrifices They Make For Their Children, I Look At Them Like They're Crazy Because Sacrifice Infers That There Was Something Better To Do Than The Thing - Than Being With Your Children.

The Only Acting You Ever See At The Oscars Is When People Act Like They’re Not Mad They Lost. Nicole Kidman Was Smiling So Wide, She Should Have Won An Emmy At The Oscars For Her Great Performance. I Was Like, "if You’d Done That In The Movie, You’d Have Won An Oscar, Girl."

I'm In Show Business... I Want To Hang Out With Janet Jackson, Not Jesse Jackson.

The Advantage That My Children Have Is That My Children Are Encountering The Nicest White People That America Has Ever Produced. Let’s Hope America Keeps Producing Nicer White People.