Because Of Acid, I Now Know That

I Went To England To Tell Jokes, And I Wanted To Tell My Smokey The Bear Joke, But I Had To Ask The English People If They Knew Who Smokey The Bear Is. But They Don't. In England, Smokey The Bear Is Not The Forest-fire-prevention Representative. They Have Smackie The Frog. It's A Lot Like A Bear, But It's A Frog. And That's A Better System, I Think We Should Adopt It. Because Bears Can Be Mean, But Frogs Are Always Cool. Never Has There Been A Frog Hopping Toward Me And I Thought, "man, I Better Play Dead!"

I Wish I Could Play Little League Now. I'd Be Way Better Than Before.

Wearing A Turtleneck Is Like Being Strangled By A Really Weak Guy, All Day. Wearing A Backpack And A Turtleneck Is Like A Weak Midget Trying To Bring You Down.

The Kit Kat Candy Bar Has The Name Kit Kat Imprinted Into The Chocolate. That Robs You Of Chocolate! That's A Clever Chocolate-saving Technique.

I Want To Get A Vending Machine, With Fun Sized Candy Bars, And The Glass In Front Is A Magnifying Glass. You'll Be Mad, But It Will Be Too Late.