A Severed Foot Is The Ultimate Stocking

I Like To Wear A "do Not Disturb" Sign Around My Neck So That Little Kids Can't Tell Me Knock-knock Jokes. "hey, How Ya Doin'? Knock-knock." "read The Sign, Punk!"

When You Put Listerine In Your Mouth, It Hurts. Germs Do Not Go Quietly.

I Ordered A Club Sandwich, But I'm Not Even A Member. "i Like My Sandwiches With Three Pieces Of Bread." "well, So Do I!" "then Let's Form A Club." "ok, But We Need Some More Stipulations. Instead Of Cutting The Sandwich Once, Let's Cut It Again. Yes, Four Triangles, Arranged In A Circle, And In The Middle We Will Dump Chips." "how Do You Feel About Frilly Toothpicks?" "i'm For 'em!" "well, This Club Is Formed."

I Hate Sandwiches At New York Delis. Too Much Meat On The Sandwich. It's Like A Cow With A Cracker On Either Side. "would You Like Anything Else With The Pastrami Sandwich?" "yeah, A Loaf Of Bread And Some Other People!"

People Think I'm Into Sports Because I'm A Man. But I'm Not Into Sports. I Like Gatorade, But That's About As Far As It Goes. By The Way, You Don't Have To Be Sweaty And Play Basketball To Enjoy Gatorade. You Can Just Be A Thirsty Dude. Gatorade Forgets About This Demographic!