Apple Is Apparently Building A Large Solar

In A Speech In Texas, Donald Trump Called Hillary Clinton 'easily The Worst Secretary Of State In The History Of Our Country.' When Asked What He Based That On, Trump Said, 'i Heard Me Say It Just Now. So It's Gotta Be True.'

Vladimir Putin Bribed A Soccer Official With A Picasso Painting So He Would Support Russia's Bid To Host The 2018 World Cup. Putin Was Like, 'it Wasn't Picasso, Just Picture Of What His Face Would Look Like If He Said No.' (nose Over Here, Eye Up Here, Ear In Forehead.)

There Are Reports That If Joe Biden Runs For President, He Would Promise To Serve For Only One Term - Because Nothing Says Confidence Like Promising Your Presidency Would Be Over Quickly.

Yesterday President Obama Traveled To Jamaica, Where He Will Meet With Students And Caribbean Leaders. Jamaica's Such A Beautiful Place, Obama Says He Can't Wait To Just Take It All In, Hold It For Several Seconds, And Then Exhale.

According To A New Poll, The Number Of Americans Who Trust Hillary Is Dropping. Specifically Into A Hole That Hillary Covered With Leaves.