In A Recent Interview, Hillary Clinton Said

The Pipeline Would Run From Canada To The Gulf Coast. It'll Be The Biggest Underground Structure Leading Into The U.s. Then People In Mexico Said, 'eh . . . Second Biggest.'

Director Ken Burns Revealed That His Next Documentary Is About Franklin Roosevelt, And It's Fourteen Hours Long...which Sounds Like Too Much, Until You Realize There's Been Over Thirty Hours Of Tv Dedicated To Honey Boo Boo.

With More And More States Legalizing Marijuana, Companies Are Lining Up To Create The First Marijuana Breathalyzer. Officials Say The Toughest Part Is Getting Stoners To Stop Trying To Inhale Off The Breathalyzer.

A New Survey Out Says 64 Percent Of Americans Own A Smartphone. Which Is Interesting Because In A Related Survey, 100 Percent Of Smart Phones Say They Own An American.

I Haven't Been On A Date In Awhile. I Went On Maybe Two Dates In My Whole Life.