An Englishman, An Irishman And A Scotsman

Doctor Told Me I've Got Two Weeks To Live. I Said: "can I Have The Last Week In July And The 1st Week In August?"

I Come From A Family Of Musicians. Even The Sewing Machine Is A Singer.

A Man Walked Into A Shop And Asked, "how Much Are Your Eggs?" He Said "£1.40 A Dozen". He Then Asked: "how Much Are Your Cracked Ones?" He Said: "35p". He Said: "crack Us Four Dozen."

Someone Threw A Petrol Bomb At Alex Higgins Once And He Drank It!

My Idea For Peace In The Middle East Is To Go Back To The 1966 Line, But To Build Even More Houses For The Palestinians, Who Are A Poor People.