All Geniuses Die Young.

Some Day There Will Have To Be Some New Rules Established About Name-calling. I Don't Mean The Routine Cursing That Goes On Between Husband And Wife, But The Naming Of Defenseless, Unsuspecting Babies.

If The Garbage Man Calls, Tell Him We Don't Want Any.

The Difference Between A Politician And A Snail Is That The Snail Leaves Its Slime Behind. Whoever Named It Necking Was A Poor Judge Of Anatomy.

Firefly: Where Is Your Husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, He's Dead. Firefly: I'll Bet He's Just Using That As An Excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I Was With Him To The Very End. Firefly: Hmmph. No Wonder He Passed Away. Mrs. Teasdale: I Held Him In My Arms And Kissed Him. Firefly: Oh I See. Then, It Was Murder.

He's So Full Of Alcohol, If You Put A Lighted Wick In His Mouth He'd Burn For Three Days.