Alimony Is Like Buying Hay For A

If You Find It Hard To Laugh At Yourself, I Would Be Happy To Do It For You.

No Man Goes Before His Time - Unless The Boss Leaves Early.

When You're In Jail, A Good Friend Will Be Trying To Bail You Out. A Best Friend Will Be In The Cell Next To You Saying, 'damn, That Was Fun.'

The First Thing Which I Can Record Concerning Myself Is, That I Was Born. These Are Wonderful Words. This Life, To Which Neither Time Nor Eternity Can Bring Diminution - This Everlasting Living Soul, Began. My Mind Loses Itself In These Depths.

Many Years Ago I Chased A Woman For Almost Two Years, Only To Discover That Her Tastes Were Exactly Like Mine: We Both Were Crazy About Girls.