According To A New Un Report, The

President Bush's Campaign Is Now Attacking John Kerry For Throwing Away Some Of His Medals To Protest The Vietnam War. Bush Did Not Have Any Medals To Throw Away, But In His Defense He Did Have All His Services Records Thrown Out.

A Petition To Have Justin Bieber Deported Got Over 100,000 Signatures, Which Means The White House Now Has To Legally Rule On It. So Finally A Chance For Obama To Issue An Executive Order That Both Republicans And Democrats Can Agree On.

It's Cold Out. It's Even Cold In Florida. So Cold Today That Katherine Harris Put On A Third Layer Of Makeup.

Stephen Hawking Is Getting A Divorce. That's Scary. If The Smartest Guy In The World Can't Figure Out Women, We're Screwed.

The Democrats Say That President Bush Doesn't Have An Exit Strategy For Iraq. Of Course He Does. If Things Don't Go Well, He Exits In November.