These White House Scandals Are Not Going

There Was A Rumor That Jesse Jackson Was Going To Go Over There To Talk With The Taliban, Apparently They Were Having Trouble Rhyming The Word Jihad.

Over In Iraq After You Vote They Paint Your Finger Purple So You Can't Vote Again. It's A Flawless System. It Works Perfectly Unless, Of Course, Someone Has Paint Remover.

Border Agents Have Now Been Issued Air Guns That Shoot Pepper Balls At People Coming Across The Mexican Border. Have They Thought This Through? Is That Going To Bother People From Mexico? Pepper Balls? Don't These People Eat Jalapenos? Isn't That Like Firing Meatballs At An Italian Guy?

In Business News, Chocolate Maker Nestle Is Buying Jenny Craig. Well, That Says It All You Need To Know About The War On Obesity, Doesn't It? It's Over! Apparently We Surrendered!

The First Olympic Games Were Held In 776 Bc. Do You Know Who Lit The Flame? Betty White.