About That Proposal, Cupcake..." Morelli

He's Going To Jail. He Can't See. He Can't Hear. He Can't Take A Leak That Lasts Under Fifteen Minutes. But He Has An Erection And All The Other Problems Are Small Change. Next Time Around I'm Coming Back As A Man. Priorities Are Clearly Defined. Life Is Simple.

I'd Kiss You, But You Smell Like A Gym Bag.

Saved By The Grandma" Ranger

Happens To Me All The Time...people Are Always Underestimating My Dumbness.

Opening My Door To Dillon Ruddick, My Bulding Super. I Handed Him A Cup Of Coffee. "sorry About The Blood." "what Was It This Time?" No One Reported Gunfire." "i Hit A Guy In The Face With A Hair Dryer." "whoa." Dillon Said. "it Wasn't My Fault," I Told Him. "maybe We Should Lay Down Some Linoleum Here. It Would Make Things Easier For Clean Up.