A Rich Man Is One Who Isn't

I Was Born In Waukegan A Long, Long Time Ago. As A Matter Of Fact, Our Rabbi Was An Indian.

When Another Comedian Has A Lousy Show, I'm The First One To Admit It.

The Only Way I'll Ever Get Hurt In The Casino Is If There's An Earthquake And A Slot Machine Falls On My Foot.

I Took My Girl To Dinner, And She Laughed So Hard At One Of My Jokes That She Dropped Her Tray.

Comedy Itself Is Based Upon Very Old Principles Of Which I Can Readily Name Seven. They Are, In Short: The Joke, Exaggeration, Ridicule, Ignorance, Surprise, The Pun, And Finally, The Comic Situation.