A Really Hard Laugh Is Like Sex-one

Celebrity Is No Different From Any Other Energy. It's A Force For Good Or Evil. It's No Different From Money. It's Power.

Introducing 'lite': The New Way To Spell 'light'; But With Twenty Per Cent Fewer Letters.

What's With This Weird Hotel Custom Of Leaving A Piece Of Chocolate On The Pillow? I Awoke Thinking My Brain Had Hemorrhaged Some Sort Of Fecal Matter.

Looking At Cleavage Is Like Looking At The Sun. You Don't Stare At It, It's Too Risky. You Get A Sense Of It And Then You Look Away.

With Any Kind Of Physical Test, I Don't Know What It Is, I Always Seem To Get Competitive. Remember When You Were In School And They'd Do Those Hearing Tests? And You'd Really Be Listening Hard, You Know? I Wanted To Do Unbelievable On The Hearing Test. I Wanted Them To Come Over To Me After And Go, 'we Think You May Have Something Close To Super-hearing. What You Heard Was A Cotton Ball Touching A Piece Of Felt. We're Sending The Results To Washington, We'd Like You To Meet The President.'