A New Study Found That Americans Are

Bp Wants Twitter To Shut Down A Fake Bp Account That Is Mocking The Oil Company. In Response, Twitter Wants Bp To Shut Down The Oil Leak That's Ruining The Ocean.

The White House Encouraged Tom Brady To Be More Of A Role Model. They Would've Said More, But There Was A Drunken Secret Service Agent Streaking Across The Rose Garden.

Mike Huckabee Said He's The Only Person Who Has Fought The Clinton Political Machine And Won. As Opposed To Democratic Candidate Bernie Sanders, Who's The Only Person Who Fought A Fax Machine And Lost.

A Group Called Draft Biden 2016 Has Started Selling Bumper Stickers That Say 'i'm Ridin' With Biden.' It's A Lot Better Than The Other One That Women Around The White House Have Started Using - 'i'm Hidin' From Biden.'

Jim Gilmore Was The Only Gop Candidate Not Invited To The Republican Debates Tonight, But I Saw That He Actually Planned To Live-tweet It. When He Heard That, Jeb Bush Was Like 'can I Do That? I Don't Want To Be Here!'