Yesterday President Obama Traveled To Jamaica, Where

The Pentagon Banned The Army From Using Chinese-made Berets. In A More Veiled Slap At The Chinese, The Pentagon Also Banned Any Alternative Form Of Checkers.

Jim Gilmore Was The Only Gop Candidate Not Invited To The Republican Debates Tonight, But I Saw That He Actually Planned To Live-tweet It. When He Heard That, Jeb Bush Was Like 'can I Do That? I Don't Want To Be Here!'

In A Two-hour Interview Last Friday, Bruce Jenner Told Abc's Diane Sawyer, 'for All Intents And Purposes, I'm A Woman.' At Which Point, Joe Biden Ran In And Started Giving Bruce A Shoulder Rub.

Politicians Are Really Getting Desperate. In Fact, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid Sent Out A Final Fundraising Email To Democrats With The Subject Line, 'i'm Begging.' Because What Better Way To Show You're A Strong Leader Than Acting Like You're Drunk And Dialing Your Ex?

John Mccain Addressed Critics Who Believe He Will Be Too Old To Run For A Sixth Term In The Senate, Saying That He's Still Healthy And Ready To Go. Then People Around Mccain Said, 'why Is He Talking To That Mannequin?'