A Lot Of Things Look Cooler In

When I Was Younger, I'd Get Very Empirical With Myself. "i Have A Hypothesis About Myself. I'll Put Myself In A Situation, See What Happens, Then I'll Draw A Conclusion Based On The Empirical Evidence. Hypothesis: I Can Play Basketball." So I'd Try. "conclusion: I Cannot Play Basketball."

I Equals All Of The Ifs Added Up Over Time. The Ifs, Those Are The Possibilities; That's Infinite For All Of Us. Every Day There Are Just Millions Of Them. Time, That's Finite For Each Of Us; There Is No Question There. Maybe If You Divide Choices By The Amount Of Time You Have, The Real I Can Emerge, Depending Upon Those Choices.

Usually My Favorite Joke Is Whichever Joke I Most Recently Came Up With That Surprised Me The First Time I Thought Of It.

You Know What's The Greatest Part Of Anything Ever In The History Of Everything? Exaggeration. No, Wait; It's Correcting Yourself. No, Better Yet, It's Making Lists.

Last Week I Lost My Temper In My Karate Class. Man, I'm Not Doing That Again Until I'm A Black Belt. Because I Can Tell You There's A Difference Between Taking Karate And Receiving Karate.