A Lot Of The U.s. Used To

Tomorrow Is Your Future's Yesterday.

If You're Frightened Of Leprechauns, The Best Thing To Do Is To Get Yourself A Little Leprechaun Outfit And See How Big They Are. And Then You'll Go, 'well I See. That's Like Bein' Frightened Of A Hampster.'

Now, I Know Obama Was Trying To Take The Long View, But Talking About Solar Energy In The Middle Of The Oil Spill Is Like Watching Your House Engulfed In Flames And Saying, 'we Really Should Change The Curtains.'

It Was On This Day That The Bahamas Declared Independence. Before That They Were A British Colony. The British Empire Lost Canada And The Bahamas, To Name Just A Couple. Britain's Been Dumped More Times Than Taylor Swift. But Did They Go Writing Whining Songs About It? No.

I Don’t Think There’s Anything Wrong With Telling The Truth. I Know It Isn’t Fashionable.