You've Got To Embrace The Future. You

But We All Had An Agreement To Let Each Other Get Away With Everything! That's Capitalism!

Everybody Doesn't Have To Get Every Joke. People Really Appreciate Not Being Condescended To.

Son, If You Really Want Something In Life, You Have To Work For It. Now Quiet, They're About To Announce The Lottery Numbers.

The Tendency In Comedy Is To Have A Character Who's Stupid Get More Stupid, Because You're Trying To Top Yourself And Not Just Repeat.

Your Cable Television Is Experiencing Difficulties. Please Do Not Panic. Resist The Temptation To Read Or Talk To Loved Ones. Do Not Attempt Sexual Relations, As Years Of Tv Radiation Have Left Your Genitals Withered And Useless.