You've Got To Be Able To Sell

If I Were To Insult People And Mean It, That Wouldn't Be Funny.

Sex Is Great, But When You Get To Be My Age, You've Got To Pace It A Little Bit. Otherwise You Get Tired.

Eddie Fisher Married To Elizabeth Taylor Is Like Me Trying To Wash The Empire State Building With A Bar Of Soap.

When You Talk About George Burns You're Talking About A Living Legend . . . Well, A Legend, Anyhow.

I Don't Do Impressions.