You're Not Famous Until My Mother Has

The Healthcare Reform Bill Now Includes A Tanning Booth Tax Of 10 Percent. You Know What This Means? This Whole Thing Could Be Funded By The Cast Of 'jersey Shore.'

The Fbi Announced Today That They Are Now Looking For Osama Bin Laden's Financial Adviser. You Think This Guy Is In Demand. How Good Can He Be? His Top Client Is Living In A Cave And Driving A Donkey. It Doesn't Sound Like He Is Getting The Best Return On His Investments To Me.

Vice President Joe Biden Said Today That 'syria Must Be Held Accountable.' Unfortunately, The Obama Administration Has Never Employed An Accountant, So They Have No Idea How To Do That.

The White House Has Finally Found One Guy That Kinda Remembers Serving With President Bush In The National Guard. Now They Just Need To Find Someone Who Remembers Bush Working On An Economic Plan. ... I Think The White House Spent More Money Looking For This Guy Than Finding Weapons Of Mass Destruction.

Hillary Clinton's Opponent In The U.s. Senate Race, The Republican She's Going To Be Running Against, Has Been Married Three Times, Had An Affair With His Chief Of Staff, Had Two Kids With Her While Still Married To His Second Wife. This Is The First Time In History That A Clinton Is The 'family Values' Candidate.