You're Not Famous Until My Mother Has

The Supreme Court Has Ruled That Anybody Can Be Strip-searched For Any Kind Of Arrest. That's Something To Think About The Next Time You Bring 12 Items Into A 10-item-or-less Lane.

Kentucky Fried Chicken.. Kfc... Keep Fooling Customers.

Attorney General John Ashcroft Has Been Hospitalized. I Believe He Is Suffering From Homophobia. No, Actually, It Was Just Gallstones, But When They Gave Him The Hospital Gown That Opens In The Back, He Refused To Wear It, He Thought It Was A Gay Wedding Dress.

Donald Trump Says That He Will Not Run For President. You Know Why? He Can't Find His Birth Certificate.

A Hiker Who Was Lost In A Blizzard Said He Stayed Alive By Digging A Snow Tunnel And Burning Dollar Bills For Warmth. Today He Was Offered A Job As President Obama's Economic Adviser.