Your Preoccupation Should Be On Doing What

Yesterday, Saddam Hussein Got 100 Percent Of The Vote. Well, That's According To Saddam's Campaign Manager, Jeb Hussein.

According To The New York Times, More Than Half Of President Obama's Twitter Followers Are Fake. They Don't Even Exist. Which Is Actually A Good Thing Because If They Did Exist There Wouldn't Be Any Jobs For Them.

John Kerry Went Hunting Today. He Said He Killed A Goose. He Didn't Bring Teresa Along Because He Was A Little Rusty And He Was Afraid He Might Kill The Goose That Laid The Golden Egg.

Now, Today Is The Day We Honor, Of Course, The Presidents, Ranging From George Washington, Who Couldn't Tell A Lie, To George Bush, Who Couldn't Tell The Truth, To Bill Clinton, Who Couldn't Tell The Difference.

There Is A Nationwide Shortage Of Drugs For Attention Deficit Disorder. The Fda Says They're Not Sure How It Happened. I Guess Somebody Wasn't Paying Attention.