According To The New York Daily News,

How Many Are Worried About A Government Shutdown? How Many Are More Worried About It Starting Back Up?

Jack Abramoff Is Going To Testify Against Some Of The Other Weasels In Congress. A Lobbyist Testifying Against Congressmen? How Many Bibles Are Going To Burst Into Flames In That Courtroom?

John Kerry's Victory Over Howard Dean Has Completely Changed The Presidential Race Around. Now Instead Of The Rich White Guy From Yale Who Lives In The White House Facing Off Against The Rich White Guy From Yale Who Lives In Vermont, He May Have To Face The Rich White Guy From Yale Who Lives In Massachusetts. It's A Whole Different Game.

President Bush Said He Was 'troubled' By Gay People Getting Married In San Francisco. He Said On Important Issues Like This The People Should Make The Decision, Not Judges. Unless Of Course We're Choosing A President, Then He Prefers Judges.

Halloween's Coming. Kids Get Very Imaginative In My Neighborhood. Last Year, Three Kids Showed Up As Goldman Sachs Executives And Demanded 4.5 Billion Pieces Of Candy.